You are the Hero of Your Saga – Accept your centrality in your own myth. It doesn’t matter whatother people think – they are the bit players. Think of your past as a Quest Saga. What did you want?How did it change? What blocked you? What tools have you got at your command? Where do you gofrom here? Challenge – You absolutely CAN rewrite the past, but first you first must face its full horror. Generally, because we were children, we didn’t know what was going on, were co-opted by ourpersecutors and prevented from fighting back. Things are different now! The hardest thing to accept isthat beloved caregivers didn’t want the best for us – they wanted us to be just like them. Danger – “I don’t believe in ghosts but I never met a person who wasn’t haunted” is a very wisesaying. What haunts you? Or who? Ghosts are malignant – if they weren’t they would be powerspirits, fairy godmothers or guardian angels. What malignancies from your past are out to get you andhow do they make themselves known? One of Freud’s contributions was to point out that people prefertheir neurosis – ie imprisonment – to liberation. Why? What’s in it for you? Opportunity – You became YOU. Yes, you have scars – these are bragging rights! You have beenthrough the wars! ‘Rewriting” the past means understanding what really happened, the limitations ofthose who surrounded you, and exploring your chances and choices today. Just because parents,teachers or “society” sentenced you to play a role, you can step out of it at any time. Buddhist thoughtis very helpful here. Buddha teaches that life itself is an illusion – a dream. It changes depending onhow we think about it. In the present, inside your mind, you hold all the keys to your own liberation. Re-visit Pema Chodron’s Noble Heart and Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now to explore how you can assume immediate control of your life and your mind and turn your past into fuel to power your growth. Meditation - #Haiku: Memory – Your Past Is Never Where You Left It Block Past subsuming Present - overwhelming Future Short circuit Change
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The Ladyslipper is a wild orchid; difficult to cultivate. Charles Darwin was unsuccessful, for one. That makes this glamorously capricious plant attractive to thieves; but it is illegal to uproot The Ladyslipper – or even pick one – in many states. The Ladyslipper carries her own defense; her juice triggers contact dermatitis. You might be able to pick one but you will be sorry that you did. Ladyslippers are used to combat depression, understandably, it seems to me, since it must be lonely shedding such exotic beauty on unseen corners of an uncaring forest. The cure is applied either as topical applications or in tea. I would say just looking at her ought to be enough. Card#62 – Ladyslipper: Singularity – Ladyslippers are special, uncommon; there is the sense of “once in a lifetime” about their viewing. If you come to think of it, everyone and everything is “one of a kind.” Even identical twins may have the same DNA but they have different fingerprints. This outrageous “blink and you’ve missed it” oneness is to be celebrated, even worshipped, because its ephemeral concretization cannot, by its very nature, ever be reproduced. If a Ladyslipper appears in your spread, think about the opportunity lost to appreciate your own uniqueness. Stop trying to be “like everybody else” and start thinking about hat you have – and are – that’s different. LifeKoan #62: Uniqueness =Customization: Everybody’s special! There’s a conundrum for you! How can we ALL be special? And yet we are – just like snowflakes. When people really think about this they don’t like it. Waaah! I don’t want to be all by myself! So we spend a substantial number of our early years in imitation. Some of it sticks – and we manage to become just like other people. But something gets lost – sometimes we lose our way entirely until we don’t know any more who we really are. Now’s the time to reclaim our true natures. We have to think about what makes us different and special and whether we’re all right with that (looking for something more than fetishes here.) Because if we ever figure it out we have a new source of fuel to customizing lifeplans specially for US so they really work – enjoyably, too! #Haiku: Singularity There’s only one of me; I’m the one That got away – Blink: You missed me.
Love is the secret. Love is the answer. Love is what we say we feel when we look into the Soulmate’s eyes According to our long, rich tradition of romantic literature, it’s a connection/identification with someone else so powerful (and so rewarding) you would walk through fire for that person. Biblically defined as: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” Love is the opposite of the winner/loser “fuck you” ethos. Love is patient. We can’t expect the Soulmate to be on the same page with us immediately, or all the time. We must work out our differences, analyze our difficulties and strategize solutions. Love takes time. Love is kind. We handle each other gently, with care. Thoughtfully, with reverence. Slowly. Savoring. Love does not envy. We are not competitive with each other. When we wrestle, it is in play, for joy, not because we want to trounce the Soulmate or knock the feet out from under the Beloved. Love does not boast. We are not seeking to impress each other. Love is not a hierarchy where we can lift our status above the Loved One. Love is not proud. We can admit fault. We can say we are sorry. We can weep with the Beloved and we can begin again. Love does not dishonor others. There is no “score”, no winner and no loser. We don’t take tales of the Beloved to friends, family, social media or the public space. Love is not self-seeking. It is not transactional: “what can I get out of this” “you are not giving enough” “you are not making me look good.” Love is not easily angered. We resist anger, touchiness, rage over our self-importance. If we are angry we cannot join, touch each other, embrace whole-heartedly or solve problems. When you get angry over a problem, now you have two problems. Love keeps no record of wrongs. When we say, “I forgive you”, we mean it. Love does not delight in evil. We do not seek the diminishment or disrespect of the other. Popular “bondage” and “sadism” games that memorialize the helplessness and subjection of the Other are dangerous, volatile and can be triggers of the past and map out a bleak future. Love rejoices in the truth. The truth evolves because our brains evolve. Truth is a process as our lives are a process. We are all heading for an end goal – both together and separately – if we can figure out what it is. Truth is our ally in this dilemma, because it tells us the real results of all our strategies which allows us to calibrate our efforts and improve our outcomes. We must speak truth to each other and we must grow in stature enough to dare to speak truth to Power. Love protects. We shelter. We nourish. We steward. We cherish. We assess. We unite. Love always trusts. We believe. We have the best assurance that God is good and that truth, justice and love will win in the end. Love always hopes. Things will get better tomorrow. We will work towards constant improvement. Love perseveres. We will never quit. We are in this for the long haul. #Haiku: Love Waves Sound travels forever Like love; Stars’ boundless dance Launched By mortal hearts The World is Our Garden
The world is a garden. In our Garden, just as the light begins to fade, we observe Tea Ceremony. For the last three thousand years, an infusion of yellow Chrysanthemum, wolfberry and honey clears anger and stress and quiets heart and brain. The tea is drunk from translucent porcelain cups with delicate gold tracery. Hot water is repeatedly added until the delicious floral scent is gone. Darkness fall, and we bow to one another before departing. If we can bear it, we touch each other’s hands. #HAIKU; The Chrysanthemum Civility is inherited treasure we did not know we had. This card appears to commemorate the restorative moments in your life. What are your ceremonies? Do they occur at regularly scheduled intervals? How often we put others’ ceremonial needs first; events that are joyous for them can be depleting for us. We need moments of prayer when, instead of wallowing in our own inability or need we can infuse with the infinite power and beauty of eternal love. Is it tea ceremony, the chrysanthemum leaves and petals reflected in the porcelain cup? Is it the moment of contemplation before sleep or after waking when we journal dreams or compose ourselves to face the day? Or is it that quiet walk we take alone in nature, asking “What can you teach me?” These healing rituals must be sacrosanct and inviolate. Any routine can acquire a ritualistic dimension when we in infuse it with a healing rationale. In an action as simple as tooth brushing you can focus your action mentally on the “dirt” or you can focus on the “clean.” We can dress ourselves with love or we can dress ourselves as punishment. I love clothes and I love colors, so merely choosing what to wear always feels like a celebration. Any physical exercise becomes a dance with the universe. Yoga is prayer. When I feel completely down in the dumps there is Tea Ceremony; the beauty of porcelain, the reassuring hiss of steam, the time for steeping allows reflection that is inherently soothing. Mindfulness requires that each morsel of food and drop of drink has a part to play; none can be unconscious, blurred, or forgotten. Shared meals are dramatic ceremonies with the ebb and flow of physical action, mental well-being and spiritual gratitude. I look forward to the daily banana, the daily apple because I feel so much better just anticipating, preparing and consuming them. It measures out a harmony between the earth’s bounty and my own body that feels deliberately loving. When we are in tune in the universe this way we are grounded joyously in our own world. You are a Wealthy Heir – We are all born into fabulous possibility. However the fear of emptiness and the dread of exclusion also start immediately. Focus on the wealth we DON’T have prevents us from identifying the resources we already possess now. Challenge – Let’s figure out what we’ve got going for us. Health? Youth? Sight? Hearing? Intelligence? Talents? Love? Education? Family? Community? Faith? Roof over head? Food on Table? Money coming in? People we can depend on? Is there a patch of sky where we can see the stars? Is there a patch of ground where we can see the flowers? Danger – There’s no question all these benefits can be improved upon. They are also subject to depredation, depreciation and degradation. It is a positive force to desire improvements, but it is dangerous to turn “wants” into rage. Opportunity – Often the one difference between happiness and misery is gratitude. Are you grateful for all you have been given? Do you feel lucky or fortunate in any way? To put things in perspective, lottery winners one year out are usually NOT AS HAPPY as those who have been in a serious accident one year previous! Obviously the secret is perspective. The lottery winners thought a pile of money would “solve” everything, the accident sufferers thought they were destroyed forever. Lottery winners learned how wrong they were about what they needed, while accident sufferers were focused on what they still had and what new caring relationships came into their lives. Begin to cultivate a practice of gratitude. It starts with a “Thank You.” Meditation – #Haiku: Resentment vs Gratitude Look back Bitter Maims Deforms; Gratitude Welcomes - Future Gift exchange The Statue
Statues are “perfect.” But they are also frozen and unchanging. In what image is this statue created and why do we aspire to this perfection? If we “Fake it till we make it” are we becoming a “false person?” No. Changing a habit to honor our deepest beliefs is giving birth to our realest, most integral self. “Accidental habits” accumulated and grooved into our brain are not “us.” We are transferring from the human who was “schooled” by our environment into an “intentional self”; the result not just of yearning but of deep thought and moral conviction. We wish to become our own best self, with whom we can be unequivocally comfortable. It just feels awkward at first; like the first day of school. If the journey of life is the endless infliction of slights and hurts small and large will we ever be truly healed? Of course: because we can imagine it. All along we had. The power to bless ourselves; and once you can bless yourself, you can bless others. Will we ever be truly free? Yes, because now we know what freedom is. “I am free.” |
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