Love is the secret. Love is the answer. Love is what we say we feel when we look into the Soulmate’s eyes According to our long, rich tradition of romantic literature, it’s a connection/identification with someone else so powerful (and so rewarding) you would walk through fire for that person. Biblically defined as: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” Love is the opposite of the winner/loser “fuck you” ethos. Love is patient. We can’t expect the Soulmate to be on the same page with us immediately, or all the time. We must work out our differences, analyze our difficulties and strategize solutions. Love takes time. Love is kind. We handle each other gently, with care. Thoughtfully, with reverence. Slowly. Savoring. Love does not envy. We are not competitive with each other. When we wrestle, it is in play, for joy, not because we want to trounce the Soulmate or knock the feet out from under the Beloved. Love does not boast. We are not seeking to impress each other. Love is not a hierarchy where we can lift our status above the Loved One. Love is not proud. We can admit fault. We can say we are sorry. We can weep with the Beloved and we can begin again. Love does not dishonor others. There is no “score”, no winner and no loser. We don’t take tales of the Beloved to friends, family, social media or the public space. Love is not self-seeking. It is not transactional: “what can I get out of this” “you are not giving enough” “you are not making me look good.” Love is not easily angered. We resist anger, touchiness, rage over our self-importance. If we are angry we cannot join, touch each other, embrace whole-heartedly or solve problems. When you get angry over a problem, now you have two problems. Love keeps no record of wrongs. When we say, “I forgive you”, we mean it. Love does not delight in evil. We do not seek the diminishment or disrespect of the other. Popular “bondage” and “sadism” games that memorialize the helplessness and subjection of the Other are dangerous, volatile and can be triggers of the past and map out a bleak future. Love rejoices in the truth. The truth evolves because our brains evolve. Truth is a process as our lives are a process. We are all heading for an end goal – both together and separately – if we can figure out what it is. Truth is our ally in this dilemma, because it tells us the real results of all our strategies which allows us to calibrate our efforts and improve our outcomes. We must speak truth to each other and we must grow in stature enough to dare to speak truth to Power. Love protects. We shelter. We nourish. We steward. We cherish. We assess. We unite. Love always trusts. We believe. We have the best assurance that God is good and that truth, justice and love will win in the end. Love always hopes. Things will get better tomorrow. We will work towards constant improvement. Love perseveres. We will never quit. We are in this for the long haul. #Haiku: Love Waves Sound travels forever Like love; Stars’ boundless dance Launched By mortal hearts
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