Loss
If “loss” is the most dreaded human experience (right up there with pain – loss IS pain) then it’s no wonder healing – ie restoration of the self -” is such a complex challenge. It requires “change” – that we withdraw to shield ourselves and reflect on our path – so right away we feel we are going the opposite way from everyone else. Loneliness and pain and maybe “being wrong” - three of the greatest human “dreads” – all in a row. Is re-birth even possible? Can we remodel this old scarred self? It’s possible to try to sell this to ourselves as its opposite: “I’m not losing people/patterns/beliefs, I’m gaining self-respect, self-knowledge and self-control.” Think of ourselves as athletes – athletes must “die to” their old pre-training lives. What’s the new regimen to get us where we want to go? Everything can’t be changed, but nothing can be changed unless it’s faced. We must face the truth of our being. De-accession” old desires (pub-crawl with strangers!) to subtler but richer and longer-lasting pleasures; holding hands at sunset, composing a haiku about morning, meditating peacefully through a thunderstorm. Becoming fully “mature” means leaving infancy – when we clung to Mommy – behind. But the powers and pleasures of self-determinacy, the inner freedom, the joys of non-dependent connecting – are more than enough compensation. Mantra: “I am not afraid”
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