Dreams
We will never be “cured” because no one can be “finished”. Our imperfection is life itself. Our imperfection is our beauty. But we can set ourselves free to accept each moment’s breath and each moment’s joy. Once we have freed ourselves, we can go wherever we like. But where do we want to go? Luckily there’s a way to “try out” future visions of future lives. Even a journey pursued only in dreams is a journey worth having. Trusting ourselves is the most important aspect of true mental freedom. That feeling of being out of control, “programmed” from the outside by malicious forces – the sense that some horrible robot self might suddenly take over and we will be forced to watch ourselves performing unwilled acts our very soul rejects is the terror that sent us on this journey to begin with. As we uncover our current self we imagine the self we want to be. In that imagination alone lies freedom.
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Duality
Just as the shadow never leaves us, “duality” is the eye in the back of our head. You can see that this isn’t a condition you want to eliminate, but it does require our special understanding. Seeing things from both sides is a gift, unless we feel “trapped” by it. The question is whether we are riding the surfboard or whether the surfboard is riding us (in which case – no oxygen.) The fact that we both want and don’t want something COULD mean that we have more gratitude for what we “actually” get! It also means that possibility – and playing with possibility - is so alive in us it is the equivalent of leading “extra lives.” Give thanks for ambivalence! The Shadow
We are in the eye of the hurricane now, closely approaching the harsh critical voice that torments us. Who IS that? Where did it come from? In my own life the harsh critical voice takes turns with The Rebel; me, arguing with and threatening myself! I know how ridiculous it is, but I need to stop stigmatizing and start integrating. Buddha says the self is empty. I don’t find that very comforting when I’m trying to get things done. I find much more relief in my mantra: I release you. I picture that unhappy spirit; a demon, really, trying to take a break from the hell of its own misery. You don’t have to go back there, I tell it, but you do have to leave. I release you. Winter
We need despair insurance. Despair is so dangerous some religions consider it a sin. The recovery movement, however, believes that even if you don’t actually “hit bottom”; it is a life-changing event just to see for yourself what “bottom” truly looks like. Answer: it is scary. Despair is the belief that nothing can really ever change except to become even worse. The implication: get out now. Worse: we are too weak to fight. There are ways out of this tarpit – booze, food, embracing any self-destructive behaviors – are not good ways. We need to summon up confidence that the dark side of the mountain only reassures us that light does exist, and if we keep going, we will get there. Faith and persistence are all we have left when confronted by despair. 15. DANGER
HALT is the acronym cherished by recovery experts – don’t allow yourself to get too HUNGRY ANGRY LONELY or TIRED Or you will no longer be in control of yourself. Your id will lash out, and based on past damage, you can imagine exactly how. There is something seductive about “giving up”. We can try to arrange our lives to void the Four Dangers, but how about the siren song of despair, especially when it promises longed-for abandon? There’ s no way around it – we have to start putting ourselves first. This is going to take practice; there’s a real prejudice in our society about people – especially women – who put themselves first. Think of the oxygen mask aboard the plane – if you can’t breathe, you can’t help anybody. “Self-care time” needs to go right on your calendar. Synchronicity
Synchronicity is defined as “an apparently meaningful coincidence in time of two or more similar or identical events that are causally unrelated”; i.e., history. It is time to explore the connections in our life. Why did one thing lead to another thing? It is time for us to explore the miracles in our life. What “rescued” us and why? Why did we need rescue? After thought, miracles and coincidences begin to make sense. Another story emerges. It is the story of our life. |
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September 2022
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