Day
We can be full of aphoristic hope, but there is a whole day to get through. Some people will tell us there is no time BUT the present. They are not exactly “right” – we can do many things today that substantially ease tomorrow. Still, there’s that day to get through – full of cliffs and mountains – many that feel self-created, some that actually ARE self-created. That’s when we want to quit. “No one cares about this but me.” “I must be doing this wrong or I wouldn’t be so miserable.” Who are we arguing with? It is worth investigating the source of these objections. Possibly we have a psychic stowaway! And then there are the difficulties created by others, which of course are MUCH WORSE because no psychic deep dive is going to get rid of THEM. This is why mantras exist. When other people take our brain and ruthlessly shake it like a snowball, we need a mantra (and the peaceful time to practice it) to set us right. “Om” is still good; “Grateful”, “Peace”, “Seek Joy” and “Beloved” also lead to clarity and relaxation. When your spirit is viciously jumbled just follow the breath; In, Out. You have been chosen for the gift of life. You are now a part of this beautiful planet. Consciously separate yourself from divisiveness, acquisitiveness, jealousy and evil. And breathe. Thank you, God, for breath. Thank you for this day.
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Mourning
If we are engaged on self-creation, the most exciting privilege of existence, what is this sadness bubbling up? Inevitably there is no escape from mourning our lost dreams and our mangled self. We had a vision of a world which turned out to be impossible, because we must calibrated our insides to other people’s outsides, an impossibility. Mourning is a process with which can now quantify, thanks to Elisabeth Kubler Ross. Denial=Not me! This can’t be happening! Anger= This is so unfair! This is so humiliating! Other people have it easier! Depression= Now everyone will see I’m defective. People will jeer! (Fear, Pain, Guilt) What’s the use? It’s hopeless. Bargaining=What if I just pretend? What if I “check out”? Who needs to be here feeling all this anyway? Acceptance= I’m willing to do what’s necessary to become the person I want to be. Mantra: I can accept my imperfections and move on The Path
Are we are everything we have ever done or are we are our own futures? Memory is our friend; if we treat it kindly it will return the favor. If our memory is abusive, let’s alter the perspective of our glance. After all, we were young, ignorant, proceeding without the map we are creating today. When discouraged, look back at the path we travelled to get here. We have arrived at an amazing place. The mountain we climb is presently encased in clouds. What lies beneath? Allow ourselves to dream. The glory of setting a path is that we still have a place to walk when we become exhausted and confused. One foot in front of the other, then our well-deserved rest. Aren’t we stronger than we give ourselves credit for? Mantra: “I am strong” Breakthrough
Up till now we have been dragging our old self along like a burdensome husk, the “new self” we coveted nowhere in sight. We are “dry drunks”, “white-knuckled dieters”, the imperfectly converted; half-heartedly singing along with the “saved”. Hypocrites. We have been faking it with a profound feeling of not making it. Then all of a sudden – maybe in the second between sleep and wake, while listening to music or thinking of something else – we see it. Out of the smallest corner of our failing eye. It’s not a “new self” exactly, but it’s a way out of the maze. Suddenly we rise above the maze and get a look at it. It’s small and cramped – we can’t believe we wasted so much time on it. Outside our tiny rats nest has been this fabulous new world all along, but we were so beset by our “incompetencies,” our “inadequacies and miseries” and above all THE FREAKIN UNFAIRNESS OF EVERYTHING that we couldn’t see it. All along, the only commitment we needed to make was to Rise Above so we could choose to Step Outside. We wanted a new self but what we were given was a new perception. It’s a glorious epiphany. Mantra: “I am so grateful for the power of new vision.” 45. Planets & Stars
As we voyage through our psyches and through the world of possibility we need to become comfortable with the unknown, the unachieved and the inchoate. We can learn many things, we can accomplish difficult feats, but by definition we will never know, or be, everything. Our primitive, infantile desire to “conquer” is fated to forever fail, because clearly the universe is too large for us. We cannot eat life up; life instead has the capacity to eat us up, and WILL eventually “eat” us, and that is the way it should be. Our rage to win over these facts bespeaks the kind of perfectionism that contains a death wish at its heart. The perfect is the enemy of the good; it is also the enemy of the experimental, questioning spirit and therefore of life itself. Compromise is the permanently unsettled balance between two opposites. Let us experience our own hunger as an ecstasy. Let us aspire to the blissful state of adventure and take the edge off this world hunger. Pray the new things we are learning will develop fresh, ecstatic hungers for future quests deep within our soul. Mantra: “I will adventure” Paradise
Every now and then, we have to admit that things go blissfully right. At the end of the day we are forced to admit – sometimes grudgingly, “That was a perfect day.” We successfully navigated all our goals. Why then, this pervasive feeling of dissatisfaction? Why can’t we take the “win”? I believe it’s that toddler still persistently alive in all of us, who doesn’t want to go to sleep at the close of even the happiest day, who insists on crying himself to sleep. Sounds like fear, doesn’t it? Our programming telling us that when things are good that means “they must get worse.” Once again, we choose our thoughts. We can reject such infantile thinking. Pat ourselves on the back, tell friends, give ourselves the reward of a good book read by a clever actor, reading us to sleep at the end of our triumphant day. A happy piece of music, snuggle with a pet or a pair of loving arms. Then we go to sleep with a smile. Tomorrow will be the same thing, over again. Instead of scaring ourselves with this, concentrate on the joy. More pleasure in our own success; right around the corner. Mantra: “I deserve to be happy.” Loss
If “loss” is the most dreaded human experience (right up there with pain – loss IS pain) then it’s no wonder healing – ie restoration of the self -” is such a complex challenge. It requires “change” – that we withdraw to shield ourselves and reflect on our path – so right away we feel we are going the opposite way from everyone else. Loneliness and pain and maybe “being wrong” - three of the greatest human “dreads” – all in a row. Is re-birth even possible? Can we remodel this old scarred self? It’s possible to try to sell this to ourselves as its opposite: “I’m not losing people/patterns/beliefs, I’m gaining self-respect, self-knowledge and self-control.” Think of ourselves as athletes – athletes must “die to” their old pre-training lives. What’s the new regimen to get us where we want to go? Everything can’t be changed, but nothing can be changed unless it’s faced. We must face the truth of our being. De-accession” old desires (pub-crawl with strangers!) to subtler but richer and longer-lasting pleasures; holding hands at sunset, composing a haiku about morning, meditating peacefully through a thunderstorm. Becoming fully “mature” means leaving infancy – when we clung to Mommy – behind. But the powers and pleasures of self-determinacy, the inner freedom, the joys of non-dependent connecting – are more than enough compensation. Mantra: “I am not afraid” 42. Transformation
When we were little we were free to fantasize; later we were shamed for it. “Be realistic,” they said, and it seemed as if reality was all bad news. We felt as if our wings had been clipped. And yet the power of dreams never leaves us. We look across the valley to the distant mountain and imagine – who would we be if we can only reach that point? But we are afraid. On the other side lies descent to an unknown valley full of dangers and who knows what life-threatening terrors. We know we contain mysteries. Will we evolve into butterflies or grinning corpses? Still, the power of transformation holds us in its thrall. We feel stirring memories of unknown worlds, powerful beings, prophetic visions; flying, of breathing ocean water, of being the eyes that look back from our own beloved pets. Is it refusal to transform that has damaged us? Or ignorance that transformation is possible? The first step is to acknowledge our desire to “become”, to unleash our hidden forces. Mantra: “I welcome the blossoming and renewal of the universe in my own body.” MYSTERY
There are so many mysteries, and the quieter we become, the more we find. When does meditation become prayer? Is prayer talking to God or listening to God? Meditation seeks to empty the clamor in our heads. As we slowly empty ourselves we become ever more conscious of our deepest yearnings, desires used against us throughout our lives, causing the damage we are attempting to heal now. We long for communion but that very longing makes us vulnerable. Is there anybody there? Is there any escape from the prison of consciousness? All religions present God differently. For Christians, belief in the Old Testament embraces a demanding, rule-making God, whereas the New Testament God is loving and wants the best for us. Which God do we deserve? Which God do we want? And why? To accept healing, we must believe in healing. Do we think we are being punished? Where did we get that idea? Mantra: “I am one with the universe.” Sex
The tantra of two beings connected upholds the universe, especially in Eastern religions. It is the foundation of humanity, and as such, is despaired of and despised by the very people it created. Through sheer physical bullying, most societies skewed patriarchal, and the patriarchs decided that sex problems must be entirely the fault of these desirable, delectable women, born goddesses every one, who must be corralled, chivvied and monitored every second. Any bad thing some man does, some woman made him do it. Such attitudes are clearly destructive of the tantric bond that must develop between a pair in order to raise up fearless, creative offspring. Every passion encounter should be between creatures born in the wilderness of their shared reality. For this to happen, much must be shed; all impedimenta including false ideas and excess flesh. Mantra, “I will dare to connect.” |
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September 2022
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