45. Planets & Stars
As we voyage through our psyches and through the world of possibility we need to become comfortable with the unknown, the unachieved and the inchoate. We can learn many things, we can accomplish difficult feats, but by definition we will never know, or be, everything. Our primitive, infantile desire to “conquer” is fated to forever fail, because clearly the universe is too large for us. We cannot eat life up; life instead has the capacity to eat us up, and WILL eventually “eat” us, and that is the way it should be. Our rage to win over these facts bespeaks the kind of perfectionism that contains a death wish at its heart. The perfect is the enemy of the good; it is also the enemy of the experimental, questioning spirit and therefore of life itself. Compromise is the permanently unsettled balance between two opposites. Let us experience our own hunger as an ecstasy. Let us aspire to the blissful state of adventure and take the edge off this world hunger. Pray the new things we are learning will develop fresh, ecstatic hungers for future quests deep within our soul. Mantra: “I will adventure”
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Paradise
Every now and then, we have to admit that things go blissfully right. At the end of the day we are forced to admit – sometimes grudgingly, “That was a perfect day.” We successfully navigated all our goals. Why then, this pervasive feeling of dissatisfaction? Why can’t we take the “win”? I believe it’s that toddler still persistently alive in all of us, who doesn’t want to go to sleep at the close of even the happiest day, who insists on crying himself to sleep. Sounds like fear, doesn’t it? Our programming telling us that when things are good that means “they must get worse.” Once again, we choose our thoughts. We can reject such infantile thinking. Pat ourselves on the back, tell friends, give ourselves the reward of a good book read by a clever actor, reading us to sleep at the end of our triumphant day. A happy piece of music, snuggle with a pet or a pair of loving arms. Then we go to sleep with a smile. Tomorrow will be the same thing, over again. Instead of scaring ourselves with this, concentrate on the joy. More pleasure in our own success; right around the corner. Mantra: “I deserve to be happy.” Loss
If “loss” is the most dreaded human experience (right up there with pain – loss IS pain) then it’s no wonder healing – ie restoration of the self -” is such a complex challenge. It requires “change” – that we withdraw to shield ourselves and reflect on our path – so right away we feel we are going the opposite way from everyone else. Loneliness and pain and maybe “being wrong” - three of the greatest human “dreads” – all in a row. Is re-birth even possible? Can we remodel this old scarred self? It’s possible to try to sell this to ourselves as its opposite: “I’m not losing people/patterns/beliefs, I’m gaining self-respect, self-knowledge and self-control.” Think of ourselves as athletes – athletes must “die to” their old pre-training lives. What’s the new regimen to get us where we want to go? Everything can’t be changed, but nothing can be changed unless it’s faced. We must face the truth of our being. De-accession” old desires (pub-crawl with strangers!) to subtler but richer and longer-lasting pleasures; holding hands at sunset, composing a haiku about morning, meditating peacefully through a thunderstorm. Becoming fully “mature” means leaving infancy – when we clung to Mommy – behind. But the powers and pleasures of self-determinacy, the inner freedom, the joys of non-dependent connecting – are more than enough compensation. Mantra: “I am not afraid” 42. Transformation
When we were little we were free to fantasize; later we were shamed for it. “Be realistic,” they said, and it seemed as if reality was all bad news. We felt as if our wings had been clipped. And yet the power of dreams never leaves us. We look across the valley to the distant mountain and imagine – who would we be if we can only reach that point? But we are afraid. On the other side lies descent to an unknown valley full of dangers and who knows what life-threatening terrors. We know we contain mysteries. Will we evolve into butterflies or grinning corpses? Still, the power of transformation holds us in its thrall. We feel stirring memories of unknown worlds, powerful beings, prophetic visions; flying, of breathing ocean water, of being the eyes that look back from our own beloved pets. Is it refusal to transform that has damaged us? Or ignorance that transformation is possible? The first step is to acknowledge our desire to “become”, to unleash our hidden forces. Mantra: “I welcome the blossoming and renewal of the universe in my own body.” MYSTERY
There are so many mysteries, and the quieter we become, the more we find. When does meditation become prayer? Is prayer talking to God or listening to God? Meditation seeks to empty the clamor in our heads. As we slowly empty ourselves we become ever more conscious of our deepest yearnings, desires used against us throughout our lives, causing the damage we are attempting to heal now. We long for communion but that very longing makes us vulnerable. Is there anybody there? Is there any escape from the prison of consciousness? All religions present God differently. For Christians, belief in the Old Testament embraces a demanding, rule-making God, whereas the New Testament God is loving and wants the best for us. Which God do we deserve? Which God do we want? And why? To accept healing, we must believe in healing. Do we think we are being punished? Where did we get that idea? Mantra: “I am one with the universe.” Sex
The tantra of two beings connected upholds the universe, especially in Eastern religions. It is the foundation of humanity, and as such, is despaired of and despised by the very people it created. Through sheer physical bullying, most societies skewed patriarchal, and the patriarchs decided that sex problems must be entirely the fault of these desirable, delectable women, born goddesses every one, who must be corralled, chivvied and monitored every second. Any bad thing some man does, some woman made him do it. Such attitudes are clearly destructive of the tantric bond that must develop between a pair in order to raise up fearless, creative offspring. Every passion encounter should be between creatures born in the wilderness of their shared reality. For this to happen, much must be shed; all impedimenta including false ideas and excess flesh. Mantra, “I will dare to connect.” Sex
The tantra of two beings connected upholds the universe, especially in Eastern religions. It is the foundation of humanity, and as such, is despaired of and despised by the very people it created. Through sheer physical bullying, most societies skewed patriarchal, and the patriarchs decided that sex problems must be entirely the fault of these desirable, delectable women, born goddesses every one, who must be corralled, chivvied and monitored every second. Any bad thing some man does, some woman made him do it. Such attitudes are clearly destructive of the tantric bond that must develop between a pair in order to raise up fearless, creative offspring. Every passion encounter should be between creatures born in the wilderness of their shared reality. For this to happen, much must be shed; all impedimenta including false ideas and excess flesh. Mantra, “I will dare to connect.” Spring
We long for the renewal and freshening of spring but when it FINALLY arrives we realize Spring is hard work! Chicks have break out of the egg, seeds must bust open the earth, buds must forcibly resist nibbles of the hungry deer. It's pretty - but it’s certainly never "easy." It’s no time to lie back and relax. We now have a real opportunity to shed the husk of our old selves and build a new one from the ground up. But that means we have to create all new habits. It’s laborious at first, bringing all our actions and assumptions into consciousness, studying them, evaluating them and trying something different. No wonder we fall into bed exhausted at night! Now is the time for journaling, calorie counting, list making, checking boxes. I WILL go to yoga I will take a nature walk I will listen to one hour of Pema Chodron check check check. Then tomorrow we do it all again! New muscles are forming. Ouch. Mantra “I accept and enjoy change.” 38. Aspiration
Is there is something inherently discouraging about aspiration? If so, it might be the fear that if we ever reach the summit, then we will be “forced” to go “down” the other side. But if we never “summit,” are we by definition forever unfulfilled? “Aspirations” are only maps, and maps are two dimensional tricks of vision. The world we transect is real, wild and constantly shifting. Our eyes, our memories are in permanent flux. Tricks of language are called “semantics”; they bog us down in discussions about differences and definitions that don’t really exist. What matters is our breathing, existent self, coping with the journey by turns brave, confused, eager, frightened, hopeful. We must allow our souls to play out their richest octave of highs and lows as we proceed along our healing quest. As practicing aspirants, we will cultivate a panoply of response as our badge of courage. Mantra; “I accept all of myself, my fears as well as my aspirations.” 37.Persistence
“Fundamental attribution error” turns out to be much more significant than when I studied it in psychology. We humans suffer from a built-in blindness for “taking things personally”: when events turns out to be caused by movements, crises and even wars that had nothing to do with our little plans and lives. We interpret entropy itself – an inevitability – as some kind of negative commentary the universe is making on our basic spiritual worth! The worst aspect of this misperception is deflated hope – a sense of failure – “giving up” based on nothing more than a change of cosmic season. As we all know, nothing is achieved without persistence. The mere existence of hope creates the future despair cancels. We simply have to keep going. Long after we want to, care to or can even remember why, we must keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just get through today! Tomorrow is ALWAYS a new day. We get second, third, hundredth chances. Mantra: “I keep going because I cherish hope and hope cherishes me.” |
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